Snkhole Disaster

Erika F PD.1
Reading 10/9/06  

Sirens of police cars and ambulances sounded the streets. There were kids with broken arms and legs all over the place. When Paul noticed that kids were still in the portable he became a hero and tried to save them. With joeys help they rescued every one in that portable. They ran to the portable. They helped the students in that portable to survive from all that was happening on this dreadful day.

 When the principle arrived she told all the kids to go home or to their bus stops that way they can get home safe.The mother of the hero boy gave us some thoughts on what she thinks is going to happen to the school and the children that were stuck in this sinkhole disaster. She said that is a disaster I can’t believe me son survived that horrible time and he helped others  That was also the Friday, September 15. This was also the day that Paul and his friends and his family had to go to the school gymnasium to hear the schools emergency relocation plan.

While they waited for the principle Paul’s mom said to Paul “you might have to go to a catholic school.” But when Paul reminded her that they were not catholic she told him that she had talked to his principle Sister Mary Margret and she said that you don’t have to be catholic to go to a catholic school. When the principle finally got on stage and apologized for them waiting. Then she said that there I no chance of that happening again and that the children should return to school on Monday. When all the parents heard the Monday everyone was shocked.

When the people on stage called out people who were courageous they yelled out Paul’s dad’s name the people clapped louder than ever. They told Paul to get in the car and talk about what school he was going to go to. When he started screaming at them and saying “I want to go to Lake Windsor Middle school” And that his parents have already ruined his life and now this is their chance to un ruin it. They can take away the IEP and let them put him on the soccer team. They put him in Tangerine Middle School.   

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

This entry was posted on October 16, 2006 at 8:52 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.



3 Responses to “Snkhole Disaster”

  1.   brookemc Says:
    October 17th, 2006 at 9:31 am

    i really like your story. the hook is one of the best i have seen so far. i read it and it could be a little bit longer. you should also work on the end kind of like make a better conclusion. its good and all but your smart and can do better. !&*brooke*&!

  2.   adrian Says:
    October 17th, 2006 at 9:48 am

    Erika this hook made me think about how the mood in the story changes from walking bored in the rain to “run help those kids,” exciting. Also I felt like I was really reading a newspaper story, but when I got to the quotes it seemed like it was a real story.

  3.   adrian Says:
    October 17th, 2006 at 9:50 am

    Awsome story I really liked it